Everyone has the ability to fly, but not everyone is capable of flying. That’s what my grandma always told me growing up. And I always thought I knew what she meant. But it wasn’t until my 18th birthday that I truly understood.
“Wake up my blessing.”
Those are the words I’d wake up to every morning followed by a kiss on the forehead. And it’s what she’s called me ever since she adopted me from that orphanage.
Just like me she didn’t have any family. And she wasn’t able to have children of her own. But still, I never thought I’d be the one she’d adopt when she stumbled into my life that day.
She saved me. But if anyone asked her she would say I saved her.
When I crawled out of bed the the wood under my feet seemed colder than usual and the sound of squeaky floorboards more annoying than ever.
“Today’s the day.”
I looked at her confused. “The day?”
“The day you finally can join the tribe,” she said with a smile.
“I don’t understand?” I said. See I’ve heard her mention a tribe before. But usually when she’s locked away in her room. Or running out to make some random errand while whispering into her phone. But she never told me what it meant. And I could tell she was keeping secrets from me anytime I asked.
“You will. Get dressed.”
Before I could ask any more questions she walked out. And not too long after the smell of her famous homemade blueberry biscuits came creeping up the stairway and into my room. Biscuits that were so good that they would make anyone within a miles distance mouth water. So imagine what was happening to me with them being just a few feet away.
So, I rushed and got dressed. I ran downstairs. And without a word I jammed a biscuit into my mouth.
“Follow me,” she said as soon as she noticed me.
And though I wanted to ask more questions I couldn’t, because my mouth was still full and I was too busy focusing on chewing to rebuttal.
Everything after that point still feels like some sort of feverish dream. She led me into the basement of our broken down house. Walked me to a broken down door that I’ve never noticed. Grabbed my hand. And placed her other palm on the door while chanting take me home.
And as she chanted the world around me disappeared. I felt dizzy for a moment. And when everything came back into focus I was no longer standing in my basement. Instead I was standing in a massive open space full of giant green mountains and lush vegetation.
“Do you remember what I told you about flying when you were younger?”
“Where are we?” I asked. Still disoriented.
“Do you remember?” She asked again. This time more sternly.
“You told me that everyone has the ability to fly, but not everyone is capable of it.”
She smiled, “Good job. And what do you think I meant by that?”
“Well,” I started as I continued to stare at the foreign world around me. “That we all have the potential to reach our dreams and become successful, but most people will fall short because they aren’t passionate enough.”
“Wow. I love that!” She said excitedly. “But no.”
I looked at her.
“There is truth in what you said. And it is still relevant, in some way, to what I really meant.”
“Well, what did you mean grandma?” I asked.
But she didn’t have to answer me. Because as soon as I asked the question it was answered. For it was at that moment that I realized it wasn’t birds that I’ve been watching in the distance. They were humans physically flying.
“What the—”
“Everyone can fly. And it’s easy. But the world outside of this tribe will most-likely never achieve their full potential not because they aren’t passionate. But because they allow themselves to be weighed down by the world they live in.”
“Am I…dreaming?”
“No my blessing. This is just the first time you’ve been awake.”
After that sentence she stayed quiet as she let me take it all in. However, after a couple of minutes, told me it was time for the ceremony. A right of passage where I finally got to join the tribe. Something she has wanted for me for so long.
The ceremony seemed to last forever. I remember a lot of people. A lot of lights. And an overwhelming amount of information and sensory stimulation.
When it finally got dark we had to trek to the top of a mountain that was known to have the most beautiful of views. It was there that they handed me a tablet. And as I read and followed the instructions of that tablet with my grandmas guidance, my back began to feel like it was on fire.
But I continued to follow those instructions. And I let go of all my emotions. My feelings. My sadness. My doubts. My trauma. My abandonment. All I’ve ever endured. And the more I let go of everything, the more my back burned. But I focused. And with my grandmas gentle touch and soft whispers of encouragement I was able to endure that pain. But just when I thought it was all over.
She pushed me off the mountain.
And as I fell I screamed. And as I screamed I cried. Looking up at her and wondering how she could betray me.
Let go my blessing. Just let go.
I couldn’t hear her, but I could read her lips. So I listened. I closed my eyes and let go of everything. All the negative thoughts and feelings that I’ve been burdened with. Including the fear of losing my life in that very moment.
And just before I hit the ground I felt weightless. My back didn’t burn anymore. And I could fly. And ever since I’ve been flying.
That was 10 years ago.
Since then my grandma and I moved back to the place I was born. Where it was illegal to fly in front of those that couldn’t. My grandma was too old to fly anymore and it hurt to watch her every night with tears in her eyes as she stared at those that continued to soar. So figured it was best to get her away from the tribe and sacred land.
And things were great for a while. Whenever she’d fall asleep I’d sneak through the portal and fly. Making it back just before she woke up from her naps.
Unfortunately, two nights ago was different. She caught me coming through the portal and I could see the look of sadness on her face. And without a word she stormed off.
I had no idea that would be the last time I saw her. For she took to the sky, but her dementia caused her to crash. And just like that she was gone.
Within our tribe it is customary to bring the deceased back to the sacred land so they can be cremated. Then, their loved ones are to take their ashes and set them free atop their favorite mountain so that their soul may fly forever more. And that’s what I had to do yesterday.
So as the funeral commenced I took her ashes to her favorite mountain. I opened the lid. And I gave my grandma back her wings.
And though I was sad, it all still felt like a celebration. For hours people talked about her. How she was the best flier anyone has ever seen. And how she was always so fearless and free. I wish she knew how much people looked up to her.
Last night I stayed up for hours, staring at the stars. Thinking of all the awesome stories I heard about my grandma. And as I reminisced I started to remember her biggest regret.
It wasn’t being alone. Nor not being able to have a child of her own. It was being too scared to fight for what she wanted most. Who she wanted most.
For her, flying was easy. But loving was hard. And many years ago, before I was even born, there was a guy she fell in love with. Unfortunately, he was from a completely different tribe and this love was forbidden. So instead of pursuing him like she wanted to, and like he did for her, she ran. And never opened up to anyone. Not until me.
She always told me stories of how amazing this guy was. Apparently, he was from the tribe of sweets and is the one that taught her how to make her famous biscuits. And whereas our tribe knows how to fly and our scared land is full of nature. Their tribe knows how to create the most flavorful sweets in all existence and their sacred land had mountains and pathways made of sweets.
That’s why, with the guidance of the letter she left me, I found the portal that led to the sacred land of sweets. So that I could find the man she once loved and deliver her message. And it’s here that I now stand at the base of a mountain made of nothing but cheesecake and strawberry jam.
And ready for my first adventure.
